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11月27日 Grande skinny vanilla lattePart of the Ex's rehabilitation program for the daughter is a daily large milky coffee. Good for the calcium in take.
It would seem that this is not a need I can take care of. Along with providing some where to sleep.
She goes, that she will be taking how on Saturday and Sunday to ensure daughters coffee intake is maintained. This on top of her concern about my bed provision, I guess is the true mothers nurturing instinct kicking in.
Wants her close and monotored. Really quite refreshing to hear.
This also gives me the chance to share this picture.
Love these pictures that play with you perception of perspective.
 11月26日 Gift warppedWell daughter was back to the hospital today, for her proper cast.
They have fitted a full arm, light weight cast.
And they gave her, ahead of its official release, a Christmas themed top coat.
Apparently they told her to hide her cast on the way out as they were not meant to be using the Christmas ones for another two weeks. Apparently last year, true to NHS efficiency, they did not get the festive themed wrappings until March.
Also she has an appointment to have it off on Christmas eve.
Will publish photo when I get one. Was promised one today, but not yet arrived.
Consultant was shocked when Mum explained how hard it had been to get an X-Ray.
Also stuggling to understand just how she broke her arm with such a small fall.
So no PE at school to sometime in to next term, no school until Monday and no piano playing until the cast is off, though piano teacher has offered to bring some lefthand only pieces for her.
School have been good as well, saying that she can be let out of class early, so she avoids the scrummage of the corridors between lessons.
The Ex is concerned about her sleeping over at the flat this weekend. I have already offered to give up my double bed for her, instead of the camp bed she normally sleeps on. 11月25日 Doing it against the clockOnly in Australia?
In order to balance my previous blog, that showed a map of Australia, and implied that it was in fact a very dangerous place to visit. I present below photos of an a famous Sydney landmark.
 Nice clock tower. Now for the closer view
 These colonials, have no shame.
Mothers know bestAfter discussion with Ex, this morning, decided that as the pain was continuing in daughters arm that a trip to hospital was required.
Saw the nurse and then a nurse practioner, with no change of the original verdict from Sunday.
However Ex, insisted on an X-ray.
Verdict, arm is fractures, in an awkward spot.
Half cast to be fitted today, return tomorrow to see the consultant and possible full arm cast.
Daughters comment to her Mum
"Mum is always right"
Glad she persevered, with the doctors. having the arm supported in a cast I am sure will ease the pain considerably.
So definately require quiet activites over weekend. Writing does helpWas reading this article
Beside having lived at the wrong end of PMS, it was interesting to note the her ultimate relief, from what was threatening to be a marriage breaker, was to write.
I quote
"So I sat down at my computer and composed an email. I wrote out everything that always came up in our rows, sobbing as I typed and feeling, as usual, that I couldn't go on with things the way they were. But the funny thing was that, once I had written the email, I felt fine. I didn't feel angry, I didn't want to get divorced and I really didn't want to send the message. I saved it instead. " My writing has not saved my marriage, but I think it has saved my sanity. Since I have started this I have really grown to appreciate the benifit of writing down my thoughts. I do not really ever go back and reread what I have written, but I know it is there if I want to.
11月24日 House of PainThe daughter remains off school, as she still has limited mobility in her right arm.
The Ex rings me up and asks what she should do, I suggest as it is still hurting, that perhaps a visit back to A & E would be best. SHe goes could I ring, I respond I think it would be easier for her just to take her in. (Please note the Ex is well of clolour, but more of that in a minute)
We back and forward like this, so she asks what would I do, to which I respond I would take her in.
At this point the phone goes dead, I ring back and say, sorry got cut off, she says no, she thought there was nothing else to say.
Then she says will I talk to our daughter. Have a long chat with her, and it would seem that it is improving, she has not asked for any pain relief today, so we are verging on the time to return to school.
So based on that, I remotely say, well to me it would seem as though she does not need to go back to A & E, it just sounds as though she needs more time.
On to the Ex.
This morning she went in for her colposcopy, the specialist says, there are abnormal cells, but not to worry about cancer, as the reason for coming in is to catch them before they turn cancerous.
Anyway she still had to have a puncture biopsy, which I am told was very painful. It made her cry, which is something she does not dso often.
I was glad her Mum ahd gone with her, and the eldest was at home looking after daughter.
She was very upset, and drained when she called me, and still very sore.
Result of the biopsy will come through in 2 to 4 weeks.
To top it all off, all of them had been booked in to the dentist, this afternoon for a check up, but I rang through and cancelled that one.
So no happy bunnies at home today. Clever advertisingThese larger than life adverts, designed to really catch your eye.
Pictures taken from an article in the Daily Mail http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1229419/The-billboards-added-dimension--advertisers-bend-physics-make-sale.html
    11月23日 Arm PainSo daughters arm is very sore today. The hospital, said that strapping and sling will slow down the healing process. Short term however, when she moves it she is a lot of pain.
She is stopping at home with Mum., probably will tomorrow. It is her right arm so she would struggle with her school work at the moment.
Has been sending me texts of the latest breaking news from I'm a Celebrity.
Guess we will have to think of a different activity, next week. No park, no swimming and no wrestling tickling fights in the flat. Movies will be good I guess.
I took my normal redeye this morning and was in the office by 11:15 (Paris Time), cold wet and misserable here as it was in the UK.
Work has been quiet today, bosses obvious by their absence.
Full day meeting to prepare for tomorrow.
Will head to the gym later.
spotted the sign in the airport that I initilally misread, took a photo, but it turned out blurred.
the web site address reads www.cjgarland.co.uk
it is in fact for a company called C J Garlands, a company that apparently, according to its site is
"The Garlands name is ringing bells in the business world as one of the UK’s largest outsourced contact centres"
Which of course really clears things up.
Anyway when I read the website address I thought it was a company that would be selling your best Cuban Cigars (just look at the web address, I am sure you can see why I thought this), which puzzeled me as I thought tobacco advertising had been band.
As I always say to the kids, make sure you have read the information correctly, and not what you assume is written. 11月22日 Another point to be used forever against me. Well this afternoon, me and the two youngest went to Tynemouth, to play crazy golf. Bloody cold wind, but still we enjoy playing. After that we went to the little park behind the boating lake. They were having great fun, untill when the daughter was chasing her younger brother she tripped and fell awkwardly on her arm. She cried a lot, and I could see she was genuinely hurt. I carried her back to the car, and took her to see Mum, as requested. I had done all the basic, wiggly your fingers checks and alike, so was reasonably sure it was not broken. Anyway get home, still sore, so we head to the A & E department. Get seen by the nurse, reasonably quickly. She does a basic rview, comparing it with the other arm, and she is reasonably sure nothing is broken. The wait for a doctor was 2.5 hours. We opt to go home. However, about an hour or so later the pain is still there and it has started to swell, so back to A&E. I drop off mum and daughter, take son back to the house where big brother has said he'll watch him. Head back to the hospital, to get my head bitten off, and to be told I am not required there, have done enough damage already. So back to the house, watch X factor and I am a celebrity, then get the call to pick them up, verdict torn muscle and pulled tendons, nothing broken. She'll score a day off school tomorrow, and I'll get a life time of reminders as to how I am unable to look after the kids. More front than sainsburys Well this morning I got a complete lashing from the Ex. started small and worked her way uo, how irrisopnsible I am with regards to the eldest and his GF, how every one thinks i am doing the wrong thing, and as soon as it goes wrong they will all come to blame me. Then she had a strop about my parents, and so she said she was off to she hers, but about 15 minutes later she was back again, ranting once more. But not long after that, just as we were settling down to do homework, in the flat, she rings, and says she is struggling with her college work, coud I come down and help her with it. So took the kids down, needed the use of the printer anyway, and sat for a couple of hours working through her work with her. mainly formating and proof reading, just to make sure it makes sense. Freedom well today has been a day of contrasts. This morning, the youngest and I, went to pick up the Ex and then went to see a friend and his wife who have just had a baby. Both had a hold and the baby was very cute. Then went to pick up the daughter from her sleep over and the four of us went to grab a coffe and a cake. From there it was back to the house. the toungest and me took the dogs to the beach, was shall we say bracing. The dogs liked it. back to the house, couple of jobs sorted and then me an the two youngesy head to the flat. watch a harry potter movie. The Ex rings and asks to join us for tea. So we head out for Italian. Drop the ex off at the house and the three of head back to the flat. we watch x factor and i am a celebrity, play some games and chill At about 11:30 pm get a call from the ex saying she cannot sleep, and it is because I am stressing her out. She had invited me to stay on Christmas Eve, but that has apparently been causing her some stress. She says she has been trying so hard to keep things normal for the kids, the dinners out and things, but it is just not working. She feels her parents have an expectation that she should try to get back with me, she says it is all pressure. She says she will talk with her parents and put them straight and she can not stand the thought of me staying in the house; She will wait until I arrive for the kids to open their presents. You know what it works for me. She says she can not sleep in the empty house, without having the kids there. says she is not going to stay another weekend in the house alone. Think may be she was expecting me to say I would rush a kid down there now for her, but I did not bite. So said our goodnights, and we watched a Simpsons episode. I tucked the kids in and am now tucked in myself. Her main conclusion is that we have now been divorced a year, and we do not seem to have got anywhere. She still does not feel free. To me, me livig in a flat and her in the house seems like progress to me. Think she must have been thinking that by now she would have a steady man in her life moved in to the house and all would be rosie Anyway what is freedom. and who is really free? We all have ties and responsibilities? 11月20日 Well that has let the cat out of the bag Well here in the North East of England the weather is not too bad. the worst of the weather has been in the North west, my thoughts go out to those in Cumbria. 14.5 inches of rain in 24 hours in cockermouth. My trip home was without problem. Daughter was just in from school when I got there. She has strated rehersals for the school pantomine. She is looking forward to her part. Then we had to drop her off at her friends for a sleep over, for her fiends birthday party. They are going to see the new Twilight movie. I drove her to the house, but sat in the car, whith the youngest, while the Ex took her to the door. One of the other mothers was just dropping of another girl. The three mothers got talking. The conversation swang round to divorce, so the Ex told them that we were divorced. None of them knew. I told her that she should have discussed this with our daughter before launching in to telling her friends parents. The Ex did not seem to think she had done anything wrong. I disagree, so I said she will have to tell the daughter what she has said, then she asked if would tell her. Not quite sure how daughter will react, but I seriuosly think it should have been discussed with her first. Anyway after that the Ex and the youngest and me went out to eat. we had a nice meal. The Ex was fun and nice to be with. the youngest loved having us both to himself. the youngest sat next to his mum and they were kissing and cuddling. Would have loved to have been getting some of the same. got back to the car and found that I had picked up a parking ticket. Did not think the parking warden would be out at that time After dinner we dropped the ex at the house and we headed over to the flat. And watched I'm a celebrity bad smells lingerWell today, the Ex is still having problem with her recent past.
Prat was on the phone again last night, and she told him to fuck off, and not contact her again. She claims she has tried, nice, reasonable and all other aproaches, without success.
He apparently then tries to bring in to the conversation that his son is not well and needs a scan and all that, going for the sympathy vote I guess, does not seem that that worked either.
Then she had Arsehole on the phone, saying he was thinking of coming over to the UK.
Her apparent response was "do not think you are fucking coming to visit me" or words to that effect.
So she is talking that she may need to , want to, change the home number, which we have not had to do as yet. She has got through a heap of mobile numbers.
The mobile number is definately looking to be changed.
She claims that she will never give out either numbers until she is 110% sure of the person, but I am sure we wil be covering the same ground again in the not to distant future.
A suggestion she did make, which was quite wise, was to keep her contact phone for familiy an not shagging interests, and to get herself a cheap pay as you go phone for the BF's to call, then you can discard the SIMs without major cost.
Would alos benifit as she could pick up the tab fro running it. Australia
Mis-reading thingsI often find I do this, a quick glance at some text, and for what ever reason, reading completly different words than those written, well that is not strictlyt true, it is more a case of reading most of the words written, and slightly changing one, to get a completely and utterly different meaning.
There was a poster in Newcastle airport, that I had to read twice, as I could not believe it said what I thought it said, and on second reading I found it did not say what i thought it said. At the moment I can not clearly remember what it was, but I'll check on my way through today or Monday morning.
The most recent is an email I recieved this morning. In this case the confusion comes due to the width of my senders name column, which has truncated the name to make on my first reading, a name completly different from that intended.
He is the image captured from my screen
 I read the middle email as
MY Money Sperm
Where as of course, it came from
mymoneysupermarket
So the truncation and the dropping of a u, sort of somewhat altered, my expectations as to the mail content.
No mymoneysperm, I thought perhaps I was on to a new second income. After all the Ex already thinks I'm a wanker, which to give her credit is not far of the mark.
Hey what else is a single healthy lad to do?
Anyway, a little diversion for the morning. In fact the email was a follow up on a car insurance quote, real boring in fact Real hum dinger
Wow the Ex had it in for the eldest yesterday afternoon.
She rang and said that he said the he is fed up with her treating him like shit. He is not going to put up with it anymore, she has done it for years and enough is enough.
He says she just started on at him for no reason. He is fed up with one minute having her shout and put him down, the next have her wanting to cuddle him and be friends. He never knows what to expect.
One minute she is complaining she never sees him, but when he is in the house she complains that he makes too much noise and eats all of the food.
Then she starts on to me about his girlfriend and how much she hates her and thinks she is a gold digger and how stupid men are, how easily they are taken in by a pair of tits and an arse. She says she will never go out to dinner with us if she is there and she does not want her back in her house.
I try to explain that it is not unusual for mothers to feel competition form gfs. The fact that he has a new woman in his life that he listens to first. Did not make much headway.
This first part was from a number of phone calls
Then he turns up, and she is off.
I could only hear her end of the conversation, and little bits of his.
She started of about the GF’s hat, dress sense, hair you name it she had a go about it.
He made some comments about some of her current bf’s and things really went down from there.
Eventually I managed to get her to listen long enough. To calm her down a bit.
After the eldest had gone. I told her that that was such a childish display I was disgusted. She finally agreed and called him up and apologised. Doubt that means she thinks any better of the GF but it is a start.
The shame of it was, the afternoon had started well. She had rung to say she had received her first marks from her TMA and had scored really well and got some really good comments from her tutor.
I had told her that I was proud of her and always knew that if she put her mind to it she would do well. 11月19日 Shopping with the AmbassadorWell another shopping basket obvservational blog.
I appologise for those outside of the UK, the teitle may not make any sense, depends if the same Ad got run world wide.
This weeks shopper, in the 10 and less aisle as always.
"The Ambassador's receptions are noted in society for their host's exquisite taste that captivates his guests", together with the comments of "Eccellente" and "Monsieur, with these Rocher, you're really spoiling us" Of course in this case the host may be spoiling them with the Rocher, but the sandwiches are going to be really Naff
11月18日 another running down by phoneThe youngest is really not enjoying school. The Ex is not liking to take him.
I took him on Monday, and he was not too bad, held his hand in the yard and he went in OK
But she went off saying how hard it is to take him in and how he really misses me so much, all she gets in the week is the count down to the weekend and so on.
That can be solved, I suggested, I can get work back home, but, I would not be able to maintain the house the flat and all that stuff, would require a down graded life style.
This then is considered to be me blackmailing her. but I say I mearly put it forward as a possible solution, anyway she goes, it would not be fair on the daughter who loves her house and where she lives, and is doing really well at school.
Then she is off about how she is struggling with money, and lives in fear of me. And How I expect her to answer to me, and how hard her course is and on and on.
Nnd she goes on about how I do not support or help her.
I pointed out that I am the one who finds all the courses for her, the potential jobs, wrote her CV, filled in application forms, how much more help can I give, I proof read he assignments.
Then she goes that the youngest see me like his mate and not his Dad, and that I favour him over my daughter. The problem is that she does not see the time we spend together at the flat, the daughter behaves very differently with me, when we are there and we are at home.
At the flat we play fight we cuddle, she kisses me, at home I think she feels obliged to favour her Mum and does so, but tends to gravitate towards her room, not an option at the flat.
Also most activities, are driven by her more than the youngest.
I admit that he needs to play more with his mates, but at the weekends, that is dificult, because it is easy to play at the house, where most of his toys remain and there is a garden etc, and space to run around. But that would mean his Mum would have to supervise iut, or I would have to be at the house. Neither of them, as yet have shown any interest in bringing people to the flat. So I guess I need to wait for that.
SO that was the basis of the rant, I am ruining her life, controlling her actions as I use money as power, I do not care for my kids and am a nasty piece of work.
She does not sleep at night, because of the stress I cause her.
She says I am not to blame it on the divorce and blame her for the divorce, because none of it is her fault. And then she starts going over things that happened two, three and more years ago, and I point out that there is no point in keeping dragging these things up, becuase it is not going to change where we are now.
She says that I always think that I am right and never take the blame for anything, Of course we all know that she is always right, that goes without saying.
Then she rings back and says she is highly stressed, the college work is too dificult, despite getting good feed back from the tutors, she says she feels inadequate, as the others, she has met at the tutorials, are already highly qualified. I tried to explain, but you are not being judge against them, but rather your own performance against the sylibus.
And of course if she spent more time working on it and less swaning about the shops, and off on her shagging trips, she would have more time to study. But I did not.
11月17日 Just a little bit moreAh always, just a little bit more.
Ex rings, I am going shopping for a present for a party the daughter is going to on Friday, can I have some money?
Then I ask her to buy a present for my Engineer, whose wife has just had her first baby. It is great to listen to him, and just to look at him, he is so high on life. I remember it well, anyway I say do not worry I will pay you back.
Then the Ex rings up and says, well the eldest has sen a car, but it will be about 500 pounds more than he has got, she says I told him to talk to you about it. I think I just paid to get his car from the pound, he then scraps it and keeps all the dosh, for a car I brought in the first place. You know I am sure I am doing something wrong.
But ultimately if it is the difference between an old banger and a more reliable and safe motor, then I guess it is a price worth paying.
Anyway I told him to keep looking and researching, as he does not have his money yet. When he does then we will look to see what is on the market, think we will also use the garage contact to have any new buy checked over before we part with any cash. From small beginings can a great fight grow, or Sunday night is fight nightIt amazes me at what can trigger a major blow out.
Well the Ex had returned from where ever she had been, the reason she goes away of course is my fault, I take all the kids away from her and she can not stand being in an empty house.
Well I guess that is one way to look at it. She says I sit their smug with the flat full. Because she was prepared to stand up and say she did not want GF in the house all of the time.
Anyway I digress, well not really, as a lot spins around her growing dislike of GF.
When the Ex had rang Sunday morning (this was prior to all the train stuff), she had asked what plans we had to eat, and arranged to pick her up at 5.00, brief chat about if she had seen the eldest last night, said they had been at the house with her, asked if she was up to much "no nothing"
Then we had all the train stuff, and I must admit that I boit my tongue, to start with, I felt like saying you can stuff your dinner invite, but I did not. In fact I was proud that she had help out some fellow traveller.
Then, after repeated calls that she was bored, and could we not go out earlier,, which I turned down, as me and the kids were busy. I get a call from the eldest, saying what are we doing for food, I say well I am just on the way to pick your Mum up if you want to join us. He asks if GF can come, I say OK.
Ring the Ex to tell her I am picking them up as well, she asks about GF. Initially she says, that if that is the case, then she will not come, I say fine. She goes so you chosing GF over me?, I say no I am chosing eldest over you, it is different.
Then she says, well I will come, but I will not talk to her.
It would apear the GF ignored the Ex the other night in the car, and she had been invited to come out to the birthday bash on Friday which she had declined saying she was tidying her room, so relationships are souring by the day.
So I pick up the Ex then Eldest and GF, and true to her word, she does not greet her, but on the flip side neither does GF say anything.
Well this continues for the whole meal.
Drop eldest and GF at the flat and head back to the house, Ex suggest that we watch Dr Who (new episode) at the house, so I settle down with the kids and the dogs and the fire on.
Great episode.
We were just getting set to watch X-Factor, when she suggested it was time to go, so me and the youngest head back to the flat, daughter likes to be at home Sunday evening ready for school.
Get back to the flat, and eldest and GF were watching TV.
Youngest was wanting to watch I'm A celebrity, but as they were already watching something I said look, we'll have to do something else.
So we played lego, then got to bed and watched some Blast Labs on the laptop.
Anyway the Ex rings up at about 10:30 to check on what time I would be down with the youngest in the morning. Asked if we enjoyed I'm a celebrity. Said no we had not watched it and she went mental.
Says what am I doing letting her dictate the telly, I tried to explain that the eldest was watching as well, and anyway we did other stuff.
She demanded to speak to the youngest to quiz him about how upset he was about missing it, he goes it does nopt matter. Then I am accused of having intimidated him to say that. And generally it deteriorated from there.
She goes on about us being friends, and how I should be backing her up, and how she believes the GF is bad for eldest, how he listens more to GF than he does to her, how I am encouraging it by letting them stay, she has taken the stance by no allowing them to stay. How bad it looks that I have a 17 year girl staying at the appartment with me and so on.
I said to her well friends of mine do not lie to me like you do, a people who do I am not really interested to have as friends. She went I never lie. I said why did you tell me you were in the house when you went off for the night.
"Because it was nothing to do with you"
"Well I do not give a toss where you go, it was still a lie, and one of many, so you are not being a friend"
Anyway you can imagine a conversation from which there will be no winners.
Concluded with two texts on the Monday morning
"I am divorced and still feel as if I have a monster watching my every move, that I have to report to. i have 3 kids and I worry every day you shall take the money away out of nastiness. You know that all you have to use on me is the money and it's a weapon that you use to your advantage. You have no right to question me. It's got nothing to do with you. Eldest is my san and he is still a child and I shall not allow him to destroy his life. You might believe it's clever what your allowing to happen. You have double standards and I suggest you take a long look at what you are allowing to happen as regards eldest. He is young and impressionable boy and should be enjoying his time with his friends not playing home. You are allowing them two to live in your appartment and your the only one. You disgust me from the pit of my stomache"
"You call me a liar your the only one hiding in a pretend world. Your own parents don't even know what has happened. you have no respect for anyone if they don't jump to you. Iam working so hard with my course so that I can get a job to support my kids without having to deal with you. You are a nasty piece of work and all you are doing is making me realise that divorcing you was the right thing to do. I am not tolerating what is happening with my son. I shall tell him today he has to move back home without her and if he chooses not to and you allow him to live in that appartment with you then you are even worse than I thought."
So now I am not sure who she hates more. me or the GF? |
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