Mark, it is not a monster you have created, it is a human you have merely fed what she lacks to provide for herself..We are each an individual of our own rights, i think what people are trying to say is that it can be done, if she does not get the line to feed her then any human instinct is survival and it will be hard at first but like Sharon and myself and loads of other independent women/men, you have to get there... Life is not handed to us on a golden plate it is something which we input the ingredients ourself to finally get the desired one we truly wish for.. Independence is something that we should be proud of instead of grubbing and playing the martyr...
We live by our means .. the more means we have the more the "human ego" survives.. But survival on the more important part is in the mind!!!! to some our means is our mind, as its our mind that allows us visual how we will survive and guide us there.
"Now I am waffling and think i have went off the beaten track!.. anyone for scrambled eggs lol..

Sharon, I take my hat off to you. Yur are obviously a strong and determind woman. I'm sure at times it must prove hard, but your rewards, of which I am sure are many, are well earnt.

I guess, I have to take responsibility for the monster I have created.

I have condoned and supported and pampered to her needs, and now of course she sees that as a god given right, along with her own personal happiness.

I just cannot understand the menality of someone who will not provide for themselves, (yes I know I do harp on about the work thing!) and is happy to take advantage of somebody to, in effect, live a life of leisure, it does anger me to a degree... I work part time, pay full rent, all my utilities and extras that the kids need, put food on the table, I do this with no help, claim no benefits from the state all I get is the tax credits, but everyone who works and has kids is entitled to those... We never go short of anything, I live within my means and never have and would never dream of asking my ex for anything, not even to change a lightbulb, everything around and outside of the house is done by me and having an artificial limb can make things difficult, but I manage and I take pride in being able to say that I do it all myself! But that's me, everyone is different I know....Your ex is sucking you dry financially and emotionally, put a stop to it, you deserve a life of your own.

Yes you are right an No I can not continue like this

Mug? Yes, but it's a position you put yourself in... She should be working to support herself, what's wrong with her actually getting a job? never mind a sodding coffee shop, if that ever got off the ground, you know who would ultimately be running things and it wouldn't be your ex, would it? If she works over 16 hours a week she c an claim tax credits (no, they are not classed as 'benefits') and believe me she would get a good amount, more than enough, anyway....
You know what the problems are, it's one thing blogging about them, it's a whole other thing actually doing something about it, can you really go on like this?

.... i would ask you to look at your posts say 6 months ago, compare them to now, and then choose what you want them to sound like in 6 months ?...
but hey anyways have a great day & bhappi~x~

ANd you know wha, I just realised, slow or what. On Friday, I get straight off the flight, round the house and rush around like a frigging blue arsed fly sorting out the garden, cleaning up the dog crap, weeding the boarders and mowing the grass.

If he is happy to live under my funded roof, and eat food I have paid for, the bastard could at least be able to mow the frigging grass.

I did firmly believe that she was finacially struggling. It does not matter at this point if she should or should not be in that situation. I believe that firmly with what I provide for her there is really no way she should be finacilaly desperate. But unfortunately providing money to ensure the kids are fed, also means she has funds to feed who ever else might be staying in the house.

Agrees on everything that Seth says.. especially do not let this par your judgement of the good ones out here... This is why women end up with the men who are no longer gentlemen and vice versa... Live by heart, let the heart guide to you to other directions Mark, you get plenty attention on your page.. You should now be seeking other realms.. You are in fact what I say.. "one of the good guys".. Seth you as well as your principles are always high!!
Take Care

:: Gill shaking head :: Mark Mark Mark. Why would you give her your last and you have to make sacrifices. If she was really struggling then I would understand but you know she is not and should never be struggling. She is just taking advantage of your good nature and maybe even spendin gyour money on this new man in her life. Start thinking of yourself Hun :)

I'll be straight forward. I am disappointed that you gave her your last 130 quid. ::Seth shakes finger at Mark:: Stop that!!

You have the biggest case of 'Door Mat Syndrome' next to myself. Uugh! One of the problems that people like us have, is that we tend to give them everything. We don't play any games of being "hard" to get. We give our exes whatever they ask, treat them nicely, etc. Then, they start to realize that they have use under the tips of their fingers. They know that whatever they ask, we'll simply comply. Not because we're whipped, but because we are gentleman who have been taught to respect the women in our lives regardless of their doings.... to show compassion and sympathy... to just be a man who lives up to our obligations and responsibilities. It's hard to turn down someone, especially when you have loved them so much. With that all said, SHE IS NO LONGER YOUR RESPONSIBILITY!
Time does really heal. It takes time, but slowly, you'll learn to let go. She is taking you for granted. As of right now, she's using you as the backup, cause she KNOWS you'll be there for her if this other guy doesn't work out for her. From the looks of it, you did everything for her and look what you got in return. I feel so sorry that there are women like this (there are men like this as well), but just so you know, there are more women out there who will value and appreciate you. You were just with the wrong one. I hope you won't change, because there is a woman out there who deserves to be loved like how you loved her, and will love you back. You will be happy again. Just forget about her, it's her loss and not yours. As each day passes by, you'll start to realize that you CAN live without her. Someday, you will meet the right girl for you and you will be thankful that this had to end and you were able to meet this person.
Move on. Stay as you are. You will be happy,